What if love isn’t what you think it is?

You might think of love as a fleeting feeling, reserved for family, friends, or romance, but what if love was just the starting point? What if true transformation came not from emotion, but from practice?

In this heartwarming episode of Cultivating Inner Peace, host Anshu Bahanda is joined by Venerable Bhante Sujatha, a Buddhist monk and the founder of the Blue Lotus Temple in the U.S., to explore loving kindness not as a mood or virtue, but as a daily discipline that reshapes how we relate to others, to pain, and to ourselves.

Together, they unpack what it means to turn love into a lifestyle, and how practicing loving kindness can rewire your reactions, shift your inner dialogue, and soften even your toughest relationships, including the one you have with yourself. Through real-life stories, gentle wisdom, and unexpected truths (like why competition and kindness cannot co-exist), Bhante shows us how love becomes stronger, deeper, and freer when it is trained like a muscle.

Have you ever struggled to forgive someone? Or found it easier to be kind to others than to yourself? Or wondered if kindness makes you weak?

🎧 Watch now to learn why loving kindness is not a luxury, but a necessity for emotional resilience, self-worth, and lasting peace.

For a transcript of this show, go to https://wellnesscurated.life/what-if-love-isnt-what-you-think-it-is-2/

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for more wellness tips to help you live your best life.

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro
• 3:26 Loving Kindness explained
• 9:01 Venerable Bhante Sujatha's journey
• 11:45 Practicing Loving Kindness
• 21:09 Impact of Loving Kindness
• 23:17 Dealing with Stress
• 28:45 Change your Life
• 31:16 Why do we need Competition?
• 33:38 Joy & Loving Kindness
• 35:39 Everyday Practice
• 38:53 Outro

Transcript

Anshu Bahanda: The other day, I dropped my handbag on the streets of London, and two strangers, people I'd never met before, came to help me pick up the things that I dropped. There was makeup spilled all over the counter. My phone went somewhere, my wallet went somewhere. These people helped me pick up every single piece and got it back to me. Now, in a world today, especially in London, where security is such a big deal, and people are saying that this got stolen, that got stolen, it was so amazing to experience that I walked around for the rest of the day with a big smile on my face. And I'm sure you've all experienced that. You. Someone might have smiled at you on the road, a complete stranger or a friend might have given you an ear to listen to something you had to say. Or someone might have sent you a message which touched you, which softened you. Which made you feel listened to in the world, maybe less invisible. So we think of love and compassion as an emotion. But what if it was a practice? What if it was more than just an emotion? What if you got better at it? Like the muscles we use? We go to the gym to train our muscles to get better. What if this practice of loving kindness became stronger and stronger the more we did it not just for the people we care about, but for strangers, for people we've had issues with in the past, very importantly for ourselves as well.

Welcome to Cultivating Inner Peace, this very special season within Ancient Wisdom for Modern Living. I'm your host, Anshu Bahanda, and as you can probably tell, today's episode is about loving kindness. And we have a very special guest today.

He's someone who became a monk at the age of 10. Not because he was forced to do so or because it was tradition. He chose that path, and he's been on this path ever since. And ever since, he's been serving, he's been teaching, he's been meditating, and he's added so much to the world. He's gone into packed auditoriums, and he's gone into basements. He does so much humanitarian work. He's founded and is the spiritual director of the Blue Lotus temple in the U.S. Welcome to this chat. Bhante Sujatha. Thank you so much for taking out the time to be here with us today. 

Bhante Sujatha: Thank you so much. Anshu. Thank you so much for the invitation.

AB: Thank you. Now, I wanted to ask you, when people hear about loving kindness, like I said in my introduction, they often think that it's this emotion, this lovely, warm feeling that comes and goes. How would you explain it as this discipline is the daily practice where you can get stronger and stronger at it every single day.

BS: Anshu, thank you so much. It's a really nice question about loving kindness. First, I want to use the word love. It is one of the most popular, sweet words. People love to hear that. So, you know, like 30 years ago, right after I moved to the United States, I started to learn the language because we are coming from different countries and different backgrounds. So I realised without learning their language, I cannot understand how they think, what they are thinking, how they are processing. So then I started to learn the language. Then very often, I heard the word love in this country in the language of English. Oh, I love you, Bhante and so people use love for everything. I love my mom. I love ice cream. I love my boyfriend. I love my girlfriend. I love chocolate. I love my dogs and my pets. So when people are using one word for everything, the word love, I was thinking what they're talking about, right? They. They say, I love my mom. Then they say, I love ice cream. Then I realised, you know, thinking to myself, love to my mom and love to me. You know, ice cream is the same in this culture. I was questioning about it. Now when people use this word love, I totally understand what it means to them. When people say, Bhante, I love you, that means I like you, right? So, you know, now our country is in eastern countries like India, Sri Lanka. Coming from Sanskrit, that old language background, we have different words for different love. Mothers love, parents love, children love, siblings love. Love is love. But we have different connotations and feelings when we talk about love. So therefore, I made my own research about this word love. In the beginning of our loving kindness practice. First we have to figure it out. What does love mean to us? Love is an emotion. Okay? Love is an emotion. Most of our loving emotions are at a very low level in the beginning. That's what people use it. Love in the beginning for everything. But the way I understand it, in my own practice, emotions are not wrong, not bad. They are wonderful. Without emotion, we cannot function. So therefore, emotions are wonderful. What meditation does. When you recognise how our emotions work, we can develop those emotions to a higher level. Love is a weak human emotion. Loving compassion is the quality. 

AB: Love is a weak human emotion. Explain that to me. Why do you call it weak? 

BS: I will tell you a perfect story. So the story helps to understand this. When I was in school, I went through the cafeteria. I saw one of my good friends. His name is Matthew. He was sitting with a young lady. I saw they were having lunch, I kind of waved at them. I just walked by them. Then Matthew said, Bhante, don't leave, please come and sit with me. So then I sat with them and he introduced me, Bhante, this is my beautiful girlfriend. I love her so much. I'm going to marry her next month. We are talking about our wedding. So then I congratulate them. I left, three years later, I met this guy again at the school and I said, hey Matt, how are you doing? Long time no see. First question I asked, how is your wife doing? So then right away he made a sad face and he said, she ruined my life. I hate her so much now.

AB: Oh gosh. Okay.

BS: That's what he said. So then I realised love is not a quality in that kind of. In the beginning of the date, love is an emotion. And so when we have a loving emotion, weak emotion, next to that, we have excitement. Now in the beginning of any relationship, there's excitement next to that love. So after three years, being in a real married relationship, what is going on now? They are facing the reality of life. So my point, if you truly love somebody, deep love, you know, harmonious love is there. That person even later in the years is not a match. So they can walk away from each other, but they are not walking away with hurt hating each other. Still love is there, but their lifestyles are not matching now.

AB: Hmm

BS: This makes sense. 

AB: Yes yes

BS: So if you live with anger, that means we, we were in the condition we. Loving emotion, that's my point. So therefore loving kindness we can develop. It's a process, it's a journey. So I used to be an angry little monk. I had lots of anger issues. But people now call me Bhante Sujatha, the love and kindness monk. Now think about that transformation. People created that for me. Throughout the years I have been on this journey. Now I can say it is my own inner experience. It's a quality now it is not an emotion anymore. 

AB: And Bhante, tell me, you joined as a monk when you were just 10. You were like a little child. And over the years, like you're saying you've been on this journey, you know, I'm sure you've had many, many years of service and solitude, of teaching, of meditation. So what is the same as when you joined at 10 and what's changed? 

BS: So in the beginning I, I, I had the intention is a good thing. Other than that I didn't have anything. Age 10, thinking about it is a good feeling. Oh, good feeling. Go to the temple, become a monk. I have seen monks. They are so calm, they are so kind, they are so loving. The only feeling I had was a good feeling. That's it. I didn't think too much about what will happen in my future. I'm moving to America. I'm going to study Sanskrit. And I didn't have any idea. I had a good feeling right after joining the order. It was a challenge. Why? So being in that condition, household life with my parents, now I am going to a totally different condition. Then I have to adjust to that condition. So then I saw my real emotion. How they are going back and forth. And sometimes good, sometimes bad is like an emotional drama, you know, like a roller coaster. So in that process, meeting good, noble people in my life, little by little, I turn into that Dharma practice. So that is my opening. So then I start to realise this is a good journey. I can see more, I practice more, I take care of myself, more attraction towards me. That means I'm doing the right thing in my life. So more than I'm teaching to people, I do it to myself. 

AB: Did you ever want to just give it all up? Was it ever too much? And you said I've done the wrong thing, you know, because 10 is just so young. 

BS: Yeah, it's so young. But in that first, my first 10 years, I was in a secured community and you know, it's a well protected community because I'm a young and, you know, teenager and everybody has to protect me. That was another condition. So that's how I am raised. I call this like boot camp training. So that's how I did. But after I became an adult, my journey changed. Because then nobody's protecting me, nobody's behind me, nobody's guiding me. The only thing I have to do is to develop myself. So it is a process, it's a journey. So it's another destination. 

AB: Lovely. And, now there's one thing that I particularly wanted to ask you about. And I said it in my introduction as well. You know what I find? With a lot of us, it's much easier. Easier to practice loving kindness with other people, with people we care about. But when it comes to our own selves, it's very hard. We start judging ourselves. Why is that? And, what can we do about it?

BS: Right. So nature of that's the egotistical mind. You know, I don't want to go to that direction. That's the egotistical mind. When we have ego, ego have three condition one is we underestimate ourselves, right? You know, I'm bad, you know, I'm not good looking, that's all underestimated. There's another kind of ego that is overestimated. Oh, I'm better than everybody. I'm perfect, I'm beautiful. And so that overestimate. Then people say we all are same. That's another ego. We all are not same. You know, we are not same. We are different. But being different, we try to figure it out ourselves in the world. So ego has three categories. Overestimate, underestimate and look the same. So why are we not really looking at ourselves lovingly? We always underestimate, overestimate or similar. All, you know, comes from the egotistical mind. So when people are practicing loving kindness for other people, it is conditioned. Now think about you, Anshu, you are giving me a gift. For example, after you give me a gift, if I don't say thank you to you, how do you feel? You feel hurt. So that means you are not practicing loving kindness, you are thinking of you. That's selfish, right? 

AB: So is loving kindness always something which has no expectation or should have no expectation?

BS: That's why I said Anshu, I don't believe in the word love. I understand the words loving kindness, loving compassion. So we always use the double word, loving kindness. Loving compassion. Not just love. Love is an emotion. Loving kindness is a quality. So loving kindness we can develop.  

AB: Okay. 

BS: Love is what we are born with. So now what I see in my life, I was born into love, being a monk, I got little guidance to develop that quality or higher state of awareness.

So therefore what I'm suggesting for the audience right now, if you really want to have a happy, peaceful inner journey, my advice for everybody, sorry to say this, be selfish. That's what I'm telling you. You know, it's kind of confusing to be selfish. When I say that to be selfish, that means self care. So in the modern world we say put your oxygen mask first before you help the other person. That's what Buddha said 2600 years ago. Take care of yourself before you take care of other people.

AB: Yes

BS: So therefore I'm asking people, the audience, to forget about the world. The world is too big for you to change, but your inner world is a perfect size. If you change your inner world, the outer world automatically changes. So our actions, our reactions, our smile, our touch, our look, everything turns into loving action after that. So that loving kindness is not conditioned. I just do my job. Then whatever other people feel or think, that's up to them. That's not my responsibility. 

AB: Right

BS: So therefore, my suggestion for you, people think love for other people is very easy. But definitely expectations are involved. That's why most of the relationships are going crazy, because of expectations. So when I do my things, I just do my job. Appreciating or being grateful is not my job. That's their job.

AB: Lovely. Very. That's very, very nice and actually very profound. So thank you. Thank you for that. Whenever there's expectations involved. It's not really loving kindness. So that's why we find it so difficult to practice loving kindness towards ourselves.

BS: Yeah, exactly. That's why it's difficult. Because we always have that expectation from the world. 

AB: But what about themselves? Why do they find it so hard to be kind to themselves? A lot of people really struggle. 

BS: Because what is the root again? I said this because of my egotistical mind. We have wrong beliefs about ourselves. It is so hard to even understand. Right. And also now think about this word. Love is very expensive in this modern culture now. It is a money making word. So you think it's true love? It is not. Because every day in this country I'm dealing with relationship issues. Anshu, so I'm asking people, when you are going on this inner journey and turn all your cameras towards you, not outside, make your world small to yourself…

AB: …go inwards. 

BS: Yeah. So then your world is, you know, opening to the whole world.

AB: So Bhante, I want to ask you another thing. You know, when we're practicing or trying to practice loving kindness, it's easier when it's someone we care about. But what about someone who's hurt us, someone who's angered us, someone who we're scared of, someone we're angry with. How do we practice loving kindness towards them without suppressing our own emotions? 

BS: I totally understand. So people think it's easy to practice loving kindness. People who are really deeply connected to you now think, for me, it is easy to practice loving kindness for Michael. For me, why? He's deeply connected to me 26 years and now, he's, you know, helping me and working for me and, you know, doing. It's easy for me to practice loving kindness. Somebody hurts me sometimes. Difficult. So then I'm asking, if I say easy to practice loving kindness for Michael, that means the problem or whatever it is inside me. If I say it is difficult to practice loving kindness for people who hurt me, the problem is in me too. What does that mean? Problem with my practice somehow. So that means it is a condition. So if we have difficult, painful people who did negative things for us, I think more than those loving gentle people. I love to have those difficult, painful people in my life. Why do I call them my angry Buddha, my annoying Buddha and my difficult Buddha? All the negative people who I meet in my life, I call them Buddhas. Why? Because of them I can see, I can test my practice where I am at. So therefore those negative things I turn into something positive to see who I am, where I am at in my journey. Instead of looking at them negatively, I am looking at myself. Where is my problem in the situation? That's why I said the world is too big for me to change. 

AB: But say, I mean, okay, let me take an example so people understand. So say someone has shouted at you and said something really rude to you, something hurtful to you.

You can just keep quiet and accept it. But would you be suppressing your own emotions here? 

BS: Actually people who deeply understand about this self love practice, if somebody is hurting or doing something negative, we are not repressing. According to Buddhist wisdom, Anshu, repressing Buddha, didn't appreciate expressing. Also Buddha didn't appreciate it. So now maybe people are thinking what the heck we have to do now then right? If we cannot suppress, if you cannot express. So the Buddhist suggestion, I think these are the best translations I can find. Analyse. When we say the word analyse, that means looking for the root cause of the problem. Instead of repressing, we say analyse. Look for the root cause for the problem. Then when you are digging to the root cause, then you realise what it is. If you are repressing, it is temporary. So analogy I can give holding a rubber ball into the water. As long as you hold the rubber ball, it will be there. The moment you let it go, it will come back. 

AB: Yeah.

BS: So the same thing. Therefore, most of the time we suppress our emotions. So suppression doesn't work. So that's why it is, I said it is a condition. So if you understand about yourself, this loving emotion, it is like air, you know, you feel it, you can go and collect it, you cannot touch it. You feel it all in your actions, your behaviors, your attitude. So more than seeing it, we have to feel it. Actually we are not doing kindness. It is not a job. It is a living experience. So I try to live with that action more than working on it.

AB: Right. 

BS: Yeah and also if I see negative people, I don't feel bad about it. Why when I am practicing loving kindness, why am I going to feel bad about it? Maybe they had a difficult time, maybe they have problems, maybe they have a, you know, the ignorance mind. Because they don't have a proper awareness about it. 

AB: So you're saying don't express, don't suppress, Analyse, 

BS: Analyse. 

AB: Wonderful. Wonderful. 

BS: Ask where is the root of the problem? 

AB: You meet a lot of people, right? So say you're making someone meditate, you know, a whole group of people who've never meditated before. How do you teach them about the impact of love and kindness?

BS: Okay, so it's very simple. When people come, I don't know, I cannot find the word for that. I feel it's wordless, it's person to person, moment to moment is different because being in this field so many years, when I see the person, my body, my mind, my emotion, everything is telling me what to do. right so most of my teaching my first lesson to people. I don't even call it a lesson. I just give a hug. That's it, that's, that's how I start to teach. Actually if I teach him, I just give a hug. That means I show my heart to this person. So then in my heart around me, that person feels safe, that person feels secured. So first I give confidence to this beautiful human being. You are safe under my umbrella. So that's a very common thing I always hear from you. And one person said, even though I didn't feel, you know, it is a very strong statement for me. One person said, it's a winter day, he came to see me, he's a young man. Then I sat with him for like an hour. And then he was driving back home in the, you know, winter storm. Then I asked him how long it would take to go home. He said 45 minutes. Then after 45 minutes, I just called him to check on him. Are you safe at home? Then he said, wow, even my mother never checks on me like this. He said, I felt your caring and loving kindness. You care about me. So that means I try my best to show in my actions about my loving kindness. After I come home, I tell people, oh, I'm home safely. Thank you so much for everything. That's my loving kindness practice. So bring it to your action a daily attitude. We cannot teach loving kindness. 

AB: Very nice. You know, situations, everyday situations. Like I start my day with a small little meditation every day, right? So when I'm sitting on that cushion meditating, I'm in a very calm space. And then I might drive out and there might be traffic and I'm stuck on the road, you know, a 20 minute journey. I'm stuck there for two hours and people are screaming and shouting in everyday life situations where stress comes in. How do you stick with loving kindness? Do you have a suggestion? 

BS: Very interesting. Actually people think when they are sitting on the cushion, they are meditating. I don't believe in that, Anshu either. So people are not meditating sitting on the cushion. Sometimes they are sleeping. Sometimes I have seen them sleeping most of the time. Or they are sitting and thinking and processing. So we call it meditation. But I call the training time. You are training sitting on the cushion, you are training how to live your life. Why? Busy, chaos. You cannot figure it out. That's why people go to temples or meditation centers and sit on cushions or chairs and meditate. That is the training, but it is not the practice. So practice right after you train at the temple or the meditation center, then you jump into your car and drive, you know, through the traffic, that is the time we are practicing. 

AB: That is the practice. That's the real meditation.

BS: Training and practice are totally different things. When people come to the Blue Lotus Temple, I see people use it as a spa. Like a spa kind of feeling. Come to feel good. I am always telling this is not the Blue Lotus spa. So why do you go to the spa? To temporary relief. And also I'm telling people sometimes you are using this temple like a hospital. You come to this place to get the treatment, but I'm not allowing you to be the permanent resident here in this building. Why? This is not real. So that means at the temple, sitting on the meditation cushion, you are training yourself. In real life, you are practicing. If you really believe sitting on the meditation cushion. I'm practicing every single day. I call it. Sorry for the word again. I call the cushion addicts. 

AB: Addicts. 

BS: Yeah, cushion addict. In the spiritual community, I can see lots of cushion addicts. They are really perfect meditation practitioners when they are sitting on the cushion. The moment you stand up from the cushion, they are the most annoying people. So I can see, I, I have seen that in my life. As long as they are sitting on the cushion, they are perfect. So therefore if somebody says, oh, I'm sitting eight hours per day and meditating, I don't believe it. So if you say Anshu, ‘Oh Bhante, middle of the traffic, I realise my meditation, my mindfulness, my compassion, I realise’ something like that. In the middle of the traffic, you come to me and say that. I said, wow, your practice is working perfectly. That's what I'm going to say. If you say during my meditation, sitting on the cushion, oh, I figure it out. This, I said, okay, good. Let me think a bit more about it because I want to see if it is real or not.

AB: But what about situations where your flight, fight or flight mode takes over? Like, you know, situations where maybe someone's having a baby or someone's just been told about a severe illness or you come out of severe grief, you've lost someone. So these life changing situations where you're exposed, you're uncertain, you're emotionally raw. How do you practice loving kindness at times like this? So then first I'm listening to the situation, paying perfect attention for this human being.

BS: So that's how I show my first loving kindness to this human being. Paying perfect attention to this human being. Right after that, when I pay perfect attention to this human being, he or she feels good about it, somebody's listening to me. Then what I'm going to say to that person about my stories. I had a father, he passed away. I had my grandparents, they passed away. I had good friends, but they passed away. I have good teachers, they passed away. That is life. So therefore enjoy now… these life matters, giving us a lesson. If you are trying to go against this life matters, that means you are going against the realities. You cannot win. If you can win in that journey, Siddhartha the Buddha will win first, right? So he realised there is no way to win in this journey. This is the way it is. But when you go on an inner journey, we can handle this outer journey a little bit better. If you have things, whatever we call the condition. People are conditioned. Our parents are conditioned, our things are conditioned. All the conditioned things we bring into our life, everything is subject to change. So then I'm listening to their story. Then I show my love and compassion. Then what I'm going to do after that, little by little, I'm going to teach them this is the way it is. This is the life we call insight meditation. We are giving them insight to think differently. So then what? I'm trying my best to change their perspective about life.

AB: So Bhante, what advice do you have? I keep going back to what you said. It keeps, it's playing like a reel in my head. You said your practice actually begins when you get off that meditation. So what advice would you give to people who are going to, you know, through the day, as they're walking into a meeting, as they're, going, spending time with their families, as they're going through difficult, easy situations, just as they're going through their normal day. How do they keep this in their mind all the time? Loving kindness. 

BS: Yeah. So these are the guidelines I can give first, you know, this is not like instant, oh, right after I say that, you go and go through, drive through and buy it, you know, using your credit card from the convenience store. There is no such thing. If we have such a thing, I'm… oh, I will say ‘Anshu, you know, you can do it within a second right now.’ No, it's a process. It is a journey. So therefore, is somebody going through this, what I'm suggesting to them, you know, take time, make the commitment. So then I'm asking, number one, can you find a good noble friend? I call that not just a friend. We have so many good friends, but we don't have any noble friends. So find that noble friend. Any situation, open your heart without any barriers. I can talk about whatever… about me, you know, that person. Not judging me, not thinking about. I'm a bad person or completely negative. I, you know, rip off my heart to that person. We need that kind of person in the beginning. Then number two, then find time to. For little time for training. So that's what people call meditation. Find little time for your training that, you know, your daily meditation practice. I say like two to five minutes every day. So in the morning, if you do like two to five minutes every day, that is the time you are preparing yourself to go to the world so that you can say, oh, I just woke up. I have 24 hours ahead. I'm going to meet so many people. I'm going to a meeting. I'm going to the family matters. Whatever things I'm facing in my life today, I'm going to face it with love and compassion and mindfulness. So you prepare and go into the world every day. If you are doing, like, seven consecutive days like that, guarantee your life will change. If not, I'm going to quit. 

AB: Okay, okay, no, we don't want you to quit. We want you to stay. 

BS: No, just kidding. Not just kidding. 

AB: And then, Bhante, I also want to ask you about the one thing that troubles me a lot, and that is competition. And I've talked about it a lot to lots of people and lots of podcasts in the system that we live in. And, for humanity as we know it, competition has always been ingrained into people's lives, right? I mean, as a child, you're given a ball and you're taught this game of cricket as a little boy, but that's about your team winning against the other team. So how does competition sit alongside loving kindness? 

BS: Why do people need competition? So that's my first question, why people get into the competition. They are not sure about themselves. 

AB: But it's deep in the system. Every child, every single child is taught that. 

BS: Yeah, why is that? Generation to generation, life to life. You know, according to the Buddhist teaching, life to life, generation to generation, we are conditioned to think like that, like a delusional mind. So what I call the delusional mind means it's a condition. It's a generation to generation condition. Life is a condition. That condition takes out. It is not the one day, one night, one hour thing. It's a process. So therefore everybody feels it is like a thick dark curtain. Go through that thick dark curtain... go… you know, through light is very challenging. It takes time. First we have to recognise we are putting a thick dark curtain. That's why we don't have light. So to see we have a thick dark curtain. That is the problem. It takes time to, you know, teach them. You are living in a dark room. So again, I can talk for hours about it. Again, we are going back to the ego of the, you know, root of the problem again. So now people think all those challenges they are going through in life, they think this is real. Actually it is not real what we created based on our behaviors, but real is this loving kindness and compassion. That's the real unique, authentic, radiant nature of us. Being in this distracted world for so many years, we don't see that beauty anymore. We are so distracted. 

AB: You seem to be so joyful. Even talking about suffering and about, you know, troubles in the world, you're still joyful. Is joy and loving kindness, do they sit hand in hand? 

BS: Yes, exactly. It's dependent. So always make sure whatever quality you are talking about your life, it is a condition. If it is a condition, always expectations are involved. If it is quality, there's a contentment involved condition. 

AB: So you said condition, expectation. 

BS: The first one is the conditions involved. The second one is that contentment is involved. Confidence comes through your own discovery, your own exploration. Contentment will come. Otherwise people are trying to be happy every day. Happiness doesn't work. Happiness is pleasurable, it is temporary. But contentment, happiness is an outside experience. But contentment is an inside experience. Because people are always trying to be happy, not trying to be content.

AB: Wonderful. 

BS: The contentment is a self discovery. Happiness is not self discovery. Okay. You know, it is a condition. But when we say happiness sounds so good when you are eating your favorite ice cream. You are happy. The day you are not receiving your favorite ice cream, you know you are upset. Why are you getting upset? You are happy about the ice cream. So the day you are not getting your favorite ice cream, it is not bothering you. What did that mean? You are a content human being. It's not a big deal for you. So that's why I said the contentment is inside your own discovery and building your own confidence. Happiness belongs to somebody. Thank you. 

AB: Contentment. Okay. And contentment is about self discovery. And self discovery leads to confidence. Thank you. 

BS: Exactly. 

AB: Now Bhante, for someone who's just starting on this journey, there's so much change going on in the world. There's a lot of people who feel very heavy, who feel very closed off. You know, people have been dislocated from their countries. There's just. The world is in such a crazy place. Can you tell them one simple loving kindness practice that will help them. Something really simple. 

BS: So what I'm asking about is this crazy world. We think, oh, the world is crazy. Actually Anshu, the world is crazy forever, right? The day the world started, still it's going on. That craziness now because of social media, the modern technology, we see every moment the world is crazy. But 2500 years ago the world was crazy also. But world craziness is the same every day. But you cannot change that. So therefore simple practice, I'm suggesting to everybody every day repeat this mantra, to yourself if you are new to this journey. I am well. I am happy. I am peaceful. While you are driving, in the middle of the traffic. I am well. I am happy. I am peaceful. Somebody cut you off. I am well. I am happy. I am peaceful. That means, you know, the world is like a garbage bin. Okay, I'm asking people, don't jump into the garbage bin. After you jump into the garbage bin, when you come out, you smell bad. Then don't complain to the garbage bin who asks you to jump into it. And also don't hate garbage at the same time. Why? Because garbage turns into compost. One day we can use garbage for something good. So therefore garbage also…Nothing wrong with that garbage. But we have to use and process it for something to turn into something good. So your meditation practice helps you to not jump into that world. Crazy garbage dumpster. Actually dumpsters don't jump into the dumpsters. So living well. According to the Buddhist analogy, there are no peaceful places. But you can find a peaceful mind. It's like a lotus flower blooming and growing in the muddy murky water. But lotus flowers grow in mud and murky water, you know, never touch the mud or water is blooming to the world but still connected to the mud. Without mud, you know, a lotus flower cannot survive, cannot live his life. But the lotus flower never touched the mud or water. Yes, that is the only way we can live our life in this society. Otherwise there is no place for you to live in this world. Please find the peaceful mind, not a peaceful place. 

AB: Thank you. Thank you, Bhante, for that invaluable chat. I'm going to go back with your mantra. I am well, I'm happy, I'm peaceful. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for inviting me. I really enjoyed it. 

BS: Thank you so much to Michael, all the organisers. I'm so grateful to everybody. I'm wishing you well. Happy and peaceful. Choose love and kindness. 

AB: Thank you. Thank you so much. To our listeners. Thank you so much for being here with us today. I hope you learned something. I myself have learned so much about loving kindness, about not trying not to have expectations about contentment and self discovery, confidence. There is so much in this podcast. I'm so grateful to all of you for listening in. If this conversation touched you in any way, please subscribe to our channel. Like this episode, we get you a number of podcasts and we continue to get you these podcasts for free. And we can do so if you subscribe to it and encourage your friends and family to do so. Thank you for being here with us today. In our season, cultivating inner peace, which is part of ancient wisdom for modern living. Till next time, stay well, stay peaceful, stay content and stay with loving kindness. Thank you.